Chapter 1 cont..

Chapter One (cont.)

For the remainder of the trip, Casey slept, curled up in a ball in the only space available in the back seat. Grace drove and thought. Thought about everything. Not only had she left her fiancé, she had also quit her job, and she pondered what kind of reaction she would get when she broke the news to her family. She wasn't sure she was prepared to sit through the inevitable interrogation. The usual questions she had heard repeated what must have been a hundred times over the last ten years. Family tended to be extremely predictable after a lifetime of listening.

She also couldn't help but think about Michael and how her decision to leave was going to affect him. Michael Stranahan was a good man; a good man whose love for her was genuine. Everything about her recently former fiancé was genuine. Hell, she had never even caught him in a little, white lie. It did make her so sad to leave - sad for herself and sad for him. But she could not bring herself to continue a relationship, especially begin a marriage, when in her heart she still felt like something was missing; something she knew deep down she would never find in Michael. Even so, she would miss him; miss his kind, gentle nature, and - to be completely honest - she would miss very much his tall, dark good looks, and his strong arms wrapped around her, which always made her feel so safe and loved. Protected.

From this point forward, Grace promised herself, she would not allow any man to get as close to her as Michael had gotten. There was, of course, an obvious exception to this new rule, and that was her best friend Jesse. He had been a permanent fixture in her life since they were crawling around in diapers. She couldn't remember not knowing him, only him always being there. Always there for her, no matter what. Grace would call and every time - every time - Jesse came running. He knew her better than anyone else in the world. They were Forest Gump and Jenny. In actuality, he probably knew her better than she knew herself. Sometimes months would go by without so much as a phone call, then one would reach out to the other and it was as if no time had passed at all. They simply picked up where they left off. Jesse was one of the very few constants in Grace's life. She was anxious to see him again, to have her best friend to talk to; to tell her secrets to him, someone she was positive would take them to the grave. It had been much too long since they had spoken to or seen one another, and she was painfully aware of the fact that it was completely her fault.

The sun was setting as she finally passed the 'Welcome To North Carolina' sign; the sign that always let her know she was almost home. There was but one more hour, give or take, until she would be pulling into the driveway of the house that held for her some of the best memories of her childhood; the memories in which she recalled feeling secure; the ones in which she didn't have to worry about what crazy scenario she would find herself a party to next, what seedy, dangerous dwelling she would have to call home; what filthy pillow on which she would be forced to lay her head at bedtime. Not that a regular bedtime was ever enforced during these times. At these times, she knew from an incredibly young age, she was basically raising herself. These were the times she prayed each night for God to deliver her from her hell on earth. She prayed for him to send her to the only place that truly felt like home. Sometimes she wondered if He was really listening at all.

The sun slid gradually down the sky and disappeared below the horizon, the moon already visible in the cloudless sky, providing enough light for Grace to find her way the last few miles that remained until she reached her destination - until she was home again. The last five miles seemed to her to take as long to traverse as fifty miles, but that was probably normal, she thought. It was most likely the anticipation of finally arriving where one had just spent a great deal of time and effort trying to reach. Whatever the explanation, the anticipation she felt cleared from her mind any other thoughts or feelings she may have been experiencing up to this point. That, in and of itself, was an extremely welcome relief. A break from all taxing thoughts. A break from everything in her life she was trying to escape. And that is precisely what she planned to accomplish; actually taking a break and allowing herself the time necessary to re-group, get all her ducks in a row. For the first time in her life.

Finally, Grace came to the correct driveway. She could always tell exactly where to turn in by the rusty, old gate held up by the hand-stacked stone wall that extended the length of the property. At the center of the gate hung an aged, wooden plaque that read 'Devereaux Downs'. Though she carried the surname Walker, a decision her mother made although she never married Grace's father, she had never considered herself a Walker. She was a Devereaux through and through. She could feel no attachment to Mr. Peter Walker or his family. How could she? She had never met any of them, including her father. He made a run for it early on; before the subject of marriage was ever discussed; before his daughter, Grace Victoria, was born and took her first breath. She thought perhaps she simply had the misfortune of being born into a family of runners; people who got going when the going got tough. People like her mother, people like her father...people like her.